A bright-star shines as a beacon…but you won’t find this star in sky at night traveling through the Cosmos. No, this yellow star long worn and tattered finds itself affixed to the wooden door of a rundown dressing room. Our painted faced anecdotist, clad in a baggy checkered outfit and ruffled collar, peeked her head under the door of the dressing room and promptly retracted it. She pressed her ear to the door in caution and waited to hear the conversation of the passing cats grow further and lower in volume until it receded from earshot. Taking advantage of the opportunity, she slipped under the door, scurried across the hallway and entered a large arena which was completely empty and laden with acoustics. The mouse took center stage.
“Alas – las…las.” The mouse calmly stated enjoying the echo before resuming her narration.
“From sea to sea and creek to creek, they come to see such a feat. Fantastic fanfare fit for kings and queens, for all to see. Where even lost ‘wombmates’ are bound to meet. ‘Era’s Comedy Show’ presented by ME! Picture a scene- to the east two dapper beasts beat their feet with such prestige. Yet another scene from the east, two dullard beast creep, creep, creep without a peep.”
“Keep up, Bullie.” The Chihuahua demanded in a low whisper, breaking their previously silent movement, as he crouched in a stealthy slither crawling through a metal air duct. “And keep quiet.”
The bulldog finagled his heavy stomach around a corner in the duct to see his partner. “I’m trying Chile but this vent wasn’t made for pizza-bagel-bodies.” He assured as he plopped around the corner causing a thud.
“Shhh!” Chile hushed.
“You shush!” Bullie snapped back. “You’re the one blathering.” He argued in a dampened voice attempting to remain quiet. “Slow is smooth…and smooth is fast.” He guaranteed. Which promoted an obvious lack of confidence from his partner in crime.
“Yeah, sure.” The Chihuahua quipped sarcastically. “Any smoother and you’ll be laying down sleeping.”
The bulldog sped up and headed-butted the Chihuahua from behind.
“Oops,” Bullie said through a smirk. “I’m such a klutz.”
Chile flew through the air and landed on a vent cover leading to an office below.
“Ow, watch it!” Chile groaned gathering himself. As his vision cleared he peaked through the holes in the vent.
“This is it!” He exclaimed in a restrained manner not to raise his volume. “And me thinks me sees the jackpot.” He said as he looked at an oval shaped object made of wood, painted to look like a tan bear in a red shirt eating out of a honey pot.
“Where? Lemme see.” Bullie excitedly requested nudging himself into the narrow space between the Chihuahua and the top of the air duct, squishing the petite dog. “You sure dats it? He asked. “It looks like a cookie jar to me.”
“Of course, I’m sure.” Chile affirmed while pushing the bulldog off him. It’s just how Big B said it was. An inappropriately dressed bear wit’ no pants.” He positioned himself facing Bullie and started, “So here’s the plan -”
“Wait.” Bullie said abruptly cutting off Chile’s sentence. “How come you get to make the plan?” He questioned.
“Because B put me in charge!” Chile argued.
Bullie groaned, “That’s only because you called tails.” Which spurred a debate.
Chile: “Well, you shouldn’t have called heads!”
Bullie: “I was gonna call tails.”
Chile: “You NEVER call tails.”
Bullie: “You ALWAYS say tails.”
Chile grabbed Bullie by the collar out of frustration, “It doesn’t matter! The coin landed on tails. I’m in charge and I got a plan.”
The Chihuahua released his grip on the bulldog and laid out his plan.
“We open this vent, you grab my feet, lower me down and I’ll grab this bare-butt-bear and pull it back up. Got it?”
“Got it, Chi Chi.” The bulldog responded through a chuckle.
The pair slowly unscrewed the bolts that fastened the vent door causing it to swing down. The Chihuahua poked out his head slowly lowering into the room upside down. With squinted eyes, he cased the room and concluded, “It’s clear.” Signaling his cohort to lower him down.
The bulldog lowered his accomplice just within arm reach of the bear before he received the signal to halt, by a balled-up paw, from the Chihuahua. Chile reached down and grasped the chubby bear by the head and with a firm grip gave it a tug to lift it, only to hear a slight popping sound and find himself holding the top half of the bear.
The Chihuahua examined the hollowed out top in confusion.
“What are you doing down there?” The bulldog inquired.
“I think I broke it!” The Chihuahua responded, as he looked down at a yet another wooden statue.
This one appeared to be a princess with hair as gold as the sun and a dress as icy blue as her eyes. The Chihuahua tossed the top half of the bear to the side and stretched out to seize the princess instead. After another look around, assuring the coast was indeed clear, he made another run at the princess.
“3…2…” The Chihuahua counted aloud preparing himself.
On the count of “one” he jerked the object by the top with force, being answered by another popping sound and once again found himself holding another hollowed top. The Chihuahua angrily threw the top painted like a princess and brushed his face out of frustration.
“How much longer?” The bulldog asked as he strained to hold his companion in his hovering state.
“It’s like a set up. Just one thing inside another thing in another. This is gonna take forever.” He whined.
“Well hurry up and get to the candy center. I can’t hold you much longer.” The bulldog warned.
The Chihuahua swiftly grabbed the next character painted doll, which appeared to be a dog. This time expecting it to open and reveal another doll. Chile grabbed the top portion of the dog and scrutinized it.
“Ah, man. What’s with this guy’s teeth?” Chile said holding it up for Bullie to see.
“Yeah, and that STUPID hat.” Bullie laughed. “So silly!”
“Yeah.” Chile agreed. “He does look kinda goofy.” He said tossing the painted dog top to the side before turning his attention to the newly revealed duck.
“Alright sailor boy, it’s your turn!” He shouted ripping the duck away from its base and tossing it into the duct towards Bullie. “Don’t ever say I didn’t give you nothing.” The Chihuahua joked.
“Hehehe.” The bulldog laughed before he heckled. “Geez put some pants on duck. This is a PG heist!”
The Chihuahua goes in once again. “A little lower.” He demanded.
His co-conspirator lowered him slightly but just enough for the Chihuahua to reach the smallest of all the painted wooden pieces, which was an image of a baby mouse, black in color, wearing a red diaper fastened by two white buttons. The Chihuahua slowly picked up the piece to make sure he collected it in its entirety. After a moment of confirmation, he heard voices approach and signaled to be hoisted back up.
The door swung open and a giant mastiff walked through in time to see Chile recess inside the air duct with his prized possession.
“I knew I heard something.” The older hound dog said to the mastiff.
“Me Matryoshka doll!” The mastiff shouted in a heavy Russian accent. “Get back here!” He shouted at the Chihuahua as he attempted to climb the shelves of the office.
“Don’t worry.” The hound dog husked. “I know who they are and where to find them.” He assured with a sinister smirk.
On the stage stood the mouse in such excitement. She jumped in the air, landed in a prone position on the floor, pushing herself up shifting her weight from her upper torso to her lower torso, to her feet causing a rippling motion through her body like that of a worm or caterpillar crawling, then stated –
“To protect from theft and threat, the most valued doll set possessed, sits and rest addressed away from touch or breath. Stacked on decks and shelves so high, it hides a prize so deep inside but a heist to hoist these halves so sly, will cause a fright for Syracusan twins whom names end in Y.”